Annapolis Family Law Blog

Take 1 of these paths when asking for a divorce

There is more to asking for a divorce than telling your spouse you want out and then leaving the home. While you have the right to take this path, you don't want to make poor decisions during this time that harm you when it's time to move through the actual process.

Here are several paths to consider when asking your spouse for a divorce:

  • Discuss your divorce and then leave: It may sound abrupt, but you may want out of your marriage so badly that leaving your home is the only thing you can think to do.
  • Ask for a trial separation: Yes, this can drag out the process, but it also gives both individuals the time to determine if divorce is truly the right answer. You may find that you enjoy living apart. You may also find that you can't live without the other person. This is what the trial is all about.
  • Work together to push forward: There's a chance that you and your spouse agree that divorce is the best solution to your personal problems. In this case, you can work together to move through the process in the most efficient and time-friendly manner possible.

How to tell your family you’re getting a divorce

Even if your loved ones see it coming, telling them that you're finally moving forward with the divorce process can be a challenge. You want to get it out in the open, all the while ensuring that you don't do anything to make your situation worse.

Here are a few things you can do when telling your family you're getting a divorce:

  • Write it out: Rather than hope you find the right words at the right time, write down what you want to say to your family.
  • Use a different script for different people: The way you tell your parents about your divorce may not be the same as the way you break it to your siblings. Take a unique approach with everyone to ensure that you have the most meaningful conversation possible.
  • Think twice about social media: In today's world, it's easy to use social media to connect with a large number of people quickly. However, since divorce is such an intimate process, think twice about using social media to tell others.
  • Find the support you need: The primary goal of telling your family about your divorce is to obtain the support you need to get through this challenging time. Don't hesitate to lean on your loved ones.

Tips to avoid arguing while co-parenting

If you don't have any children with your ex-spouse, you never have to speak again after your divorce is final. However, if you have at least one child together, you'll have to communicate every now and again.

This can result in additional arguments, which doesn't make things any easier on you or your children.

Be prepared for the many emotional stages of divorce

Even if you no longer love your spouse and realize that divorce is the best way to improve your life, it doesn't mean that you won't experience a gamut of emotions about your situation. You know that divorce will change your life forever, so it's only natural to feel sad sometimes during the process.

Below are some of the emotions that you may feel before, during and after divorce:

  • Denial. At first, you may find it hard to believe that you're going through a divorce. While you may not want to accept it at first, reconciling yourself with this reality will hope you cope with any fallout.
  • Shock. From panic to rage, you may be shocked that divorce is disrupting your life.
  • Roller-coaster. One day you're ok with the idea of divorce, but the next you're back to square one and playing the blame game. The only good thing about a roller-coaster of emotions is that eventually the ride ends.
  • Letting go. There will come a point when you realize that you have to let your marriage go. You know that the divorce process will be finalized soon enough and that there is nothing you can do to stop it. Once you let go you can then move on with making a full recovery.

Are you prepared for divorce mediation?

As you prepare for divorce mediation, you'll have many things running through your mind. Your goal is to move through the process as quickly as possible while getting what you want in the end.

While you're sure to compromise many times along the way, there are some tips you can follow to put yourself in a position to succeed:

  • Get organized. It's important to arrive at your first divorce mediation session as organized as possible. This means gathering all your financial and personal documents pertaining to your marriage and divorce.
  • Stay calm. Even though you may be upset and angry, you can't let it show during divorce mediation. You need to remain cool and calm at all times, as this will work in your favor.
  • Negotiate rather than argue. Preparing for divorce mediation means being ready to negotiate with your spouse rather than arguing about the details at hand. Instead, you're working with one another to compromise and move on.
  • Think about the future. As you make decisions during mediation, such as those regarding child custody and property division, you should always be thinking about the future.

Answer these questions as you prepare to ask for a divorce

Preparing to ask for a divorce can make the actual process much less stressful. While you never know what exactly will happen, the steps you take to prepare can put you in position to get started on the right foot.

Here are five questions to answer as you prepare to initiate a divorce:

  • How do you believe your spouse will react? There is no way of knowing for sure, but you should think about all the possibilities. This allows you to prepare for anything that comes your way.
  • What's the best time and place to ask for a divorce? You need to carefully consider the location and time, as making the wrong choice will only complicate things.
  • How will you get your point across? It's one thing to ask for a divorce, but another thing entirely for your spouse to understand your reasons for doing so.
  • What will you do if your spouse becomes angry and violent? If you have any reason to believe this could happen, you need to ask for a divorce in a public place or over the telephone.
  • Will you discuss the details? You don't have to discuss the finer details of the actual divorce, such as child support, child custody and property division. You'll have time for this later on.

Will you follow these divorce recovery tips?

As you move through the divorce process, you have so much going on that you may never take the time to realize how things are changing.

However, when your divorce is finally in the books, you soon realize that your life is not the same as it once was. This is why it's so important to have a clear recovery plan in place.

Child custody and relocation: Know your legal rights

As a custodial parent, there may come a time when you want to relocate with your child. While this sounds simple enough, you know one thing to be true: It can put a lot of stress on your child custody situation.

If you move with your child, it means that they will be forced to have a long-distance relationship with the other parent. However, there may be times when you have no choice but to make this decision, such as if you are required to move for your job.

Ask these questions when discussing a prenuptial agreement

Well before you say "I do," you may want to discuss creating a prenuptial agreement with your partner.

If both of you are on board with the idea, it's much easier to push forward and get an agreement in place.

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